Step by Step Parenting

My husband and I welcomed our twin girls into our family on February 23rd, 2026. And then, we were officially a family of seven…

I think.

See, it’s a little more complicated when you’re a blended family. I’ve written numerous times about how tricky it can be to be a stepmom (read here, here, here, here, and here). One of the things I initially struggled with, although it’s gotten better over time, is how to answer the question, “How many kids do you have?”

Some people (and this is prior to me having twins) thought that I should just say one, since I only had one biological daughter. Other people believed that I should answer something like, “One daughter, but also two stepkids.” I even had someone ask me once, in front of my stepdaughter, where my “real” daughter was. Now, I’m an adult, and I can handle all of this just find. But I don’t think people pause to consider how things like that affect the kids. Because I never want my stepkids to feel like they are not as much family as anyone else in our house, I eventually settled on, “I have three kids.”

When my husband and I found out we were expecting twins, we revisited our thinking on this. Do we tell people that we’re expecting babies #4 and #5? Can we claim to be a family of seven? Would we offend anyone by doing so? Is it wrong to do so?

As far as blended families go, ours is just about as complicated as it gets. The simplest type of blended family would consist of one parent, their kids from a prior relationship, and then the parent’s new partner, who does not have kids. The new partner still has to adjust to a new stepparenting role, and the kids have to adjust to a new parent figure, but that is it. Next would be when both parents have kids from prior relationships. Then you have step sibling relationships to navigate, as well as two new stepparents. Finally, there are “ours babies.”

When I first heard this term, honestly, I recoiled. Why would I ever single out any of my kids that way?, I thought. But over time — and lots of time, we’re talking years — the term has grown on me. Maybe “grown on me” isn’t quite the right phrase, but it has begun to make more sense.

In a blended family, the kids that enter into the blended family already have an established relationship with their newly-married biological parent, but they also (usually) have a relationship with their other biological parent, too. That other biological parent is not part of the blended family unit. Whether the kids in blended families are in the blended household all the time, half of the time, or just occasionally, those kids are still going through a very different experience than an “ours baby” whose parents both live in the same home.

In the end, Kevin and I decided that if anyone asked, we would say we’re a family of seven, and that we have five kids. And should someone have a problem with that, well, we decided that it wouldn’t be our problem. Our decision came from a place of love for all of our kids, who all deserve to feel a part of our family, even if it is blended.

With that being said, I wanted to use this as an opportunity to introduce our new family of seven!

The twins were almost exactly a month old when these photos were taken. While I was still pregnant, I purchased a joint photo session package from my photographer. One session would be at the hospital just 48 hours after the twins were born (I will HAVE to share those eventually because holy cuteness!), and the other session would be taken about a month after the twins were born.

As a mother, I am so much more aware of how quickly time moves. It feels like yesterday that I found out I was pregnant with my first, and now, five kids call me “mom” (well, two can’t talk yet, but you get the point). My own mother always prioritized having professional family photos taken every other year or so growing up, and now, I understand why. One day, photos and memories are all that will be left of so many precious stages of life — so take the photos!

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been pretty hard on myself when I look back at these photos. All I can see is how my face is still puffy from pregnancy, how my body isn’t quite as healed as it is today, at six months postpartum. But I know that time will give me kinder eyes, and that one day I will be so glad I have these photos with my newborns and with my family, even if I didn’t quite feel comfortable in my skin yet. I might not have loved my body when these photos were taken, but the twins sure did. For months, my body grew them, and even after they were born, my body continued to nurture them, and they always slept so snug and cozy in my arms.

Something about the arrival of the twins also made the older kids seem so, well, old. It’s crazy because my stepdaughter wasn’t even six when I met her, and now, she’s heading towards nine at full speed ahead. She has sprung up like a weed these past few months, and I’m starting to think that it won’t be long before she’s as tall as me!

Meanwhile, my daughter Eloisa is now the same age that her older stepsister was when I met her. At almost six, Eloisa is as feisty as ever, and has such a personality! She keeps me on my toes for sure, and has more questions than I could possibly answer, but I love her curiosity, her determination, and her silliness. In many ways, she is the firecracker of the family that gets the party going!

With the arrival of the twins, the baby of the family was a baby no more. Instead, Thomas was promoted from youngest child to middle child, just like that! He has handled the transition wonderfully, though, and my heart melts every time I hear him say, “Look at that big smile!” to one of the twins. It’s just the way he says it, ugh, it’s so CUTE! When I first met Thomas, he was only two-and-a-half years old, not even potty trained. Now, he’s off to kindergarten next week. It’s actually insane.

My grandma, a twin mom herself, warned me to label all of the twins’ photos so I could tell who was who years down the line. She insisted that one day, I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart. Well that day came sooner than expected, because when I look at the photos from when they were 48 hours old, I honestly have no idea who is who! I could tell in these photos, but not before. That being said, here’s Emersyn:

And then here’s Evelyn. I’m curious if they look as different to you all as they do to me!

Even at only one month old, Kevin and I could see their little personalities start to shine, and now at six months, even more so! Hands down the best part of parenting twins is getting to watch two precious little souls grow at the same time. I definitely wouldn’t be able to do this without my husband, though. He has been my rock throughout all of this, and some days, he’s so hands-on that he makes me feel like a deadbeat mom. I wouldn’t have it any other way, though, and I am eternally thankful for a partner who is so loving, patient, and involved.

And that’s our family of seven!! It’s crazy to think these photos were taken only five months ago, when it feels like another lifetime entirely. Also, my kids would be very upset if I didn’t mention our dog, Ginger. She’s not in these photos, but I think we’re going to try and include her in our fall family pictures… stay tuned to see how that goes!