BIG NEWS, everybody!! Next week will be my last newsletter in this series.
I know I said I would go to #25, but if I’m being completely honest, I am just feeling really, really burnt out from this endeavor and am in need of a break. I have over twenty articles in my drafts that I can’t wait to give more time and attention to, as well as a lot of other fun ideas, I promise!
Administrative announcements aside, this week was looooong but it was good. Because my semester ended, I technically don’t have work anymore, either. The law firm I’ve been at since five weeks postpartum was a part of the school’s residency program, so it ended along with classes.
However, the firm said they would keep me on over the summer (potentially paid, fingers crossed), but there was only one problem with that:
No childcare.
My mom has been watching the twins this past semester, bless her heart, but now that summer is here, we’re on our own. My dad is finally taking a sabbatical for the first time since he started at his job in 1999, so my parents have begun an extremely well-deserved month-long vacation.
I technically could have stopped working on Friday. I have fulfilled my course requirement and no longer need to log any hours. But I have been learning so much on the job, more than I have from any other class. And if I’m being real… I like working. As mom, I think we feel like we should feel guilty for admitting something like that. What good mom would rather be at work than at home with her kids?
It’s so much more nuanced than that, though. I love working on myself and my career, while also working towards a better future for my family. One with more security, more freedom. It is extremely gratifying, for me personally, to be contributing to our family’s finances.
My sweet, angel of a husband understands all of this and agreed to move his schedule at work around so that we could both work. I work 9am to 3pm, and he works 4pm to 11pm, and we both take Friday off.
It has been a huge adjustment, to say the least. For starters, I rarely see Kevin. Just a few hours in the morning, and maybe thirty minutes when I get home from work. I am usually asleep when he gets home from work close to midnight (or at least I try to be) so that’s pretty much it.
I also now handle the evenings completely by myself. This means dinner, baths, and bedtime are all on me. Add in the dog, chores around the house, and studying, and it is quite the juggling act! Luckily we didn’t have our three older kids this week, so the adjustment wasn’t as bad, but pray for me for this upcoming week!
Maybe it’s the change in schedules, or maybe it’s the end of the school year, but I can’t help but feel like we’re in a huge transitory period of life right now.
Our little boy starts kindergarten in the fall. I will start my last semester of law school — not even a full year! The twins are starting to move around, and parenting them is about to become a lot more hands on. But with that means we’re more active as a family, and able to get out of the house more and do more.
It feels bittersweet to be closing so many chapters at once. I’m always asking my husband if every year is going to just keep flying by faster and faster the older I get, and although he confirms this is true, I cannot imagine how time can possibly ever move faster than it already is!
Life is busy and sometimes difficult right now, so little moments with my family matter more than anything else. I can’t wait to soak up this summer as much as I can before entering what is bound to be an even more hectic second half of the year.
Week #19 Favorites
- Oatmeal with frozen berries and brown sugar. This is pretty much just berry cobbler oatmeal?! So good! I defrost the berries in the microwave for 15-30 seconds beforehand, and then add them in while the oatmeal is still on the stove. Once it’s done cooking I mix in several spoonfuls of brown sugar and holy moly it’s delicious. This will definitely be my next breakfast fixation for the foreseeable future.
- This baby carrier. I know I’ve mentioned baby wearing on here before, but it’s seriously a game changer when you have twins. I love being able to wear a baby while working on dishes or laundry, or walking the dog, and I still have my hands free if the other baby needs me. I even learned this week that I can carry one baby while wearing another! (see above)
- My dog. Everyone warned me that I would hate my dog once the babies were born. If I tried to protest that I could never, people would push back even harder, swearing up and down that it was going to happen. Well, I’m happy to report that I was right, and I love her just the same, if not more! I think it is a totally valid and real experience that many moms have, but it’s important to remember that just because something is your experience doesn’t mean it will be everyone’s experience. Ginger has done a phenomenal job adjusting to two new little humans in the couch. She has been my faithful companion for every single middle-of-the-night pumping session. She plays with my older three kids when my hands are full with the twins. She cuddles me and keeps me company when my husband is at work, my older three kids are at their other parents’, and I’m feeling lonely. I just love her!
Week #19 Highlights
- I took my last final of the school year! And once I walked out of that exam, it literally felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulder. I hadn’t realized how much extra stress that class and that final were causing me until it was over. I studied hard in the days leading up to it, and completely wore myself out. Now the waiting game begins, and it will be about two weeks before I even find out how I did.
- I had a whole afternoon all to myself. On Tuesday, I carpooled with a friend to and from school for our finals. My exam was much shorter than hers, so I finished with about four hours to spare before she was going to be done and we could head home. This was the longest stretch of time I’ve had to just chill in several, several weeks. If I’m at home and end up with this much time, I normally start cleaning. But at school, there wasn’t much “busy work” for me to do, so I had no choice but to relax. I walked down the street to grab a burger, I wrote a few more blog posts, and I tried to relax as much as I could.
- We took the twins to the mountains for the first time! I am actually writing a whole article recapping our day trip that will come out on Wednesday, but long story short, we had a blast! I have been taking day trips to the Blue Ridge Mountains for as long as I’ve had a driver’s license. All of my friends know that I’m prone to drag people on hikes with me, and if you ask me to pick an activity, it will always be that. The mountains are just so insanely gorgeous, and I’ll never understand how people who are lucky enough to live close to them aren’t visiting as much as possible! This was my first time going since last summer, and my oh my how my soul needed it. My husband and I have already agreed to do a few more day trips like this this summer, and I can’t wait.
Surprise! Screen Time Check-in!
Admittedly, I stopped doing this section because I gave up on trying to abstain from social media.
I was doing good for awhile, but a few weeks into the newborn trenches and I caved. With all of this middle-of-the-night pumping sessions, and days that seemed to stretch on forever, I relied on social media to help me feel like I wasn’t living in complete isolation.
That excuse only held up for a few days, though, before I realized that reintroducing social media was having more negative affects than positive ones. It’s a never-ending struggle that I’m sure a lot of us can relate to.
But finally last Sunday, on a whim, I decided to deactivate my Facebook account. Not just remove the app from my phone, but deactivate my account altogether. This meant I could no longer just hop on via the Safari app and scroll Facebook. At the same time, I also removed the Instagram app from my phone, leaving only Substack.
The difference was noticeable within 24 hours. I felt so much better, and it has been a lot more effective than simply taking apps off my phone. I did end up removing Substack, as well, so now that’s a “computer” only job. But wow wow wow. This feels amazing!
I’m just two steps away from deactivating my Instagram, too. I have had that account for wayyyy longer than Facebook, so this step feels a little more scary. But it’s impossible to deny how much better I feel, so we’ll see.
Self-Care Tip of the Week: Delete Social Media
I already hammered this point above, but seriously, getting off of social media will do wonders for your mental health.
It doesn’t have to be a permanent break, but even logging off for a month, a week, or even just a day, can be beneficial. Personally, I am going to try to keep this break going throughout summer, so that I can focus on being present with my family.
That’s all for this week! See you guys for the last time (for this newsletter, at least) next week!!
Step by Step Parenting 