I swear, the weeks are getting faster and faster as I speed towards the end of this semester of law school! After this one, there’s just one more newsletter before I finish up my 2L year — a reality I still haven’t fully processed yet.
I remember June of last year so clearly. I had just finished up my first year of law school, and I finished strong by receiving my first two A’s. I had been a solid B student the whole year, so this accomplishment was huge to me. I had also just found out that I made it onto one of the school’s law reviews, and I had just finished trying out for moot court (which I would end up making). I felt like I finally had this “law school” thing down, and I was ready to take on the world.
But approximately two three weeks after completing my 1L year, I found out I was pregnant. And I immediately knew it was twins.
My second year of law school ended up looking wildly different than what I had imagined. I’ve noticed, as I’ve been reflecting back on it, that it can be easy to focus on the negative. The year didn’t turn out how I wanted to. I wasn’t able to compete in a moot court competition. I got the worst grade I’ve ever gotten in my life (I passed, but barely). I was hardly ever at school because I was so sick. I failed the MPRE.
Despite all of the lows of my second year, there were so many highs, too, though I often struggle to acknowledge them. I’m someone that is constantly pushing themselves towards more success and higher achievements, so I’m pretty terrible at ever pausing to be proud of or celebrate myself.
But during my second year, I also was able to attend oral arguments at the Supreme Court of the United States. I was elected to be one of the Notes & Comments Editors for law review. I waddled to classes all the way until I was 37 weeks pregnant with twins, a feat so insane that I doubt many of my classmates fully comprehended how crazy that was, how difficult it was, or how much pain I was in. I’m sure I was quite the sight to behold as I walked two blocks to class every day! I studied and studied and studied no matter what was going on, and towards the end, there were multiple times I would go to school, leave to go to the hospital, and then still go to school the next day.
After surviving all of that, let’s not forget I gave birth to twins just… in the middle of the semester. Throughout my pregnancy, people kept asking me what my “plan” was for still getting through law school despite having twins, and I would always just shrug and say the plan was to power through as if nothing was happening. Well, that’s exactly what I ended up doing! I brought my Constitutional Law textbook with me to the hospital, and was reading cases while the twins were just days old. I attended class via Zoom for two weeks, but at just two or three weeks postpartum, I went back to school in-person, diapers and breast pump and all.
I took my finals at school just like the rest of my classmates did, when the girls were only three weeks old. That room was the most quiet I had heard since giving birth, so it ended up being a struggle to stay awake through the final. I ended up being the first one done, because I knew if I took any longer, I would fall asleep! After that final, I immediately had to pump, and then take another final, and then go home, sleep, and return the next day to take another final. That’s three finals in less than 24 hours! I don’t recommend it, but I did it.
Lastly, I started my residency at only five weeks postpartum. I packed a giant workbag full of pumping parts and bottles and snacks, left my newborn twins with my moms, and headed downtown to work at a law firm for the next three months. Leaving my girls every day was so hard, but I loved the work I was doing, and knew that I was doing it all for them in the long run. I struggle to admit that I enjoy being a working mom, because there’s so much negative stigma around it, but I really do love it. Being able to provide financial security for my family is important to me, and if I get to pursue my dreams while doing it? Even better.
All of this to say, I accomplished a lot during my second year of law school, even if it didn’t turn out the way I might have hoped it would had you asked me twelve months ago. As I’m closing up one chapter in my life, I think it’s important to focus on the good, and I am so excited to begin my next chapter: my third year of law school and studying for the bar. I am sure the next chapter will turn out different than I have planned in my head, too, but that’s part of the fun!
Week #17 Favorites
- Olly prenatal gummies. I rarely took any prenatals while I was actually pregnant, mainly because I was so sick. But now that I’m postpartum and breastfeeding two babies, I have made a huge effort to stay as properly fueled and hydrated as possible. Obviously eating a balanced diet is the best way to properly fuel, but supplements like prenatal vitamins are a huge help, too! Our bodies recover for months and months after childbirth, so the more we can do to aid recovery, the better. I was a little skeptical about these since, in all honesty, they do have a slight fishy smell to them. But I promise you, you can’t taste that at all! Instead it’s more like eating a more lemonade-y Sour Patch Kid.
2. McDonald’s new Dirty Dr. Pepper. I mentioned in a previous post that I’ve become a Dr. Pepper girl since I started breastfeeding, so when I saw this while I was in the McDonald’s drive thru one day, I had to try it. It was pretty good! Although the aftertaste was weird (like grass? My husband confirmed he tasted the same), the vanilla cold foam on top is what really saved the day, and made this such a tasty treat. Apparently, all of the other dirty sodas now on their menu are even better, so I can’t wait to try some!
3. Barbri. Yeah, I said it. Barbri is one of the platforms that law students can use to study for both school and the bar. I made my first downpayment on a bar prep course (yes, it’s that expensive) and have slowly begun to study. I love how Barbri organizes all of its materials, and the video lectures have been helpful as I start to study for finals and the MPRE. I might not love studying, but Barbri has made it easy to work into my schedule in random pockets of time throughout the day.
Week #17 Highlights
- Ginger and I ran three miles together! We had a little scare earlier in the week because she was sick, but after a trip to the vet and some new meds, her vet not only cleared her to run, but encouraged it. As you can tell, Ginger loves it! And it sounds silly, because she’s a tiny poodle mix, but I genuinely feel safer when I’m running with her. She notices people before I do, so I never feel snuck up on, and she’s pretty good at picking up on vibes, too. If she starts growling at someone, I know that means to really keep my distance. In any event, watching her have the time of her life makes the miles go by quicker, so for that, I am thankful!
2. I had my last class of the semester! I already reminisced on my whole second year of law school above, and that pretty much says it all. Balancing this class with residency and newborn twins has been a lot, so I’m glad to be at the end of it. Now all that’s left to do is study my butt off in hopes of passing the final! I’m a little nervous because my brain hasn’t felt quite the same since pregnancy, but I’ll figure it out.
3. Eloisa had her first dance recital! She did so good! She was so nervous beforehand, and as my most outgoing and confident child, this was kind of surprising. We had a good conversation about why we get nervous and how to handle it, though, and it felt even better to watch her up on that stage knowing how brave she was being to be up there! I don’t know if she’ll want to do anymore dance after this, but I am glad she learned and had fun in the process.
Self-Care Tip of the Week: Pray
Growing up, I used to think praying could only happen when you were on your knees by the side of your bed, with your arms folded, eyes closed, and head bowed. And while that’s certainly a great way to pray, if that’s the only time we do it, we’re missing out.
This week was a lot, both physically and mentally. There were entire days where I didn’t see my babies because I was leaving for work so early and returning from school so late. Between that, stress about studying, stress about money, and just overall exhaustion, I was starting to feel pretty down about life. I was driving home from school one night, reflecting on the long day, when I decided to just pray out loud. It started off as me just ranting about how stressed and overwhelmed I was, but I was surprised that by the end of the prayer, I felt more gratitude and peace. Because of that prayer, I ended my day with a little bit of encouragement.
Another week has just gone by in a flash! Only one more newsletter before I complete my sixth semester of law school!
Step by Step Parenting 