I can’t believe it’s already Tuesday! My husband and I headed out of town this past Thursday, with the twins and the dog in tow, so this week felt extra short. It was basically just a three-day work week!
I am once again writing my newsletter last minute. And once again, I am wondering why I even bother keeping up with it. Between reading for law school classes, preparing for exams, keeping five kids alive, and writing my book, I often find myself forgetting to write the weekly updates. And realistically, I am sure not many people read it.
However, if nothing else, I am stubborn. I want to make it to a year! I think that’s okay to admit. I’m also not really journaling or scrapbooking in any other form right now, so it’s a convenient way to document this crazy phase of life. Especially while the twins seem to be changing and growing every day! As a great philosopher once said… life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around every once in a while, you might miss it.
This Week in Review
I spent the first few days of the week running around, juggling multiple things at once. I was trying to wrap up things at work, keep up in school, and prep for our upcoming vacation.
Monday was a big day: I was able to pick up my graduation regalia at school! I was so excited to try it on once I got home, and it made December 11th feel that much closer. It really does feel like I blinked, and two-and-a-half years flew by. My first day of law school was yesterday, and yet somehow, graduation is only 54 days away! Crazy how that works.
On Gaining Clarity
My glasses also arrived on Monday, and… wow. I mentioned last week that the optometrist hypothesized that once I had my glasses, I wasn’t going to want to take them off. I’m not going to lie, I was skeptical. I looked at the prescription once I left the office, and it wasn’t *that* strong. It couldn’t make that much of a difference, right? Wrong! I put them on for the first time, and I’m not even kidding, I was blown away. Everything was so crisp, so clear! I could hardly believe how blurry and out-of-focus things were without the glasses!
On Quitting My Job
When I started the semester, I was still working part-time at the medical malpractice law firm that had hosted me both for my spring residency and summer internship. I loved the work I was doing, and especially for the first few weeks of school when my postpartum-induced imposter syndrome was extra strong, it was nice to escape somewhere for a few hours where I felt like I actually knew what was going on.
But as the semester ramped up, and with it, the amount of assignments, it became harder to keep up. Finding out that I failed the MPRE by one question and would need to take it for a third time was just an extra punch to the get. And then, you know, there’s the usual chaos of being a blended family of seven. It felt like I was having to call out of work at least once a week to get tires on a car replaced, take the dog to the emergency vet, pickup a kid amidst a crisis from school, or some other unplanned interruption. This left me extremely depleted at all times, with absolutely no time to (a) complete my assigned readings and writings for school or even (b) take care of myself. I’ve had to learn to give up a lot as a mom of five who is also a full-time law student, but consuming 300mg of caffeine a day can only fix so much. Eventually, I realized that something needed to change. My optional, part-time job that was only ten hours a week was the logical choice.
I am so thankful for the nearly seven months I spent with the firm. Not only was I able to gain a ton of experience (I drafted demand letters, complaints, discovery, motions, settlement brochures, and appeals), but I loved being able to help our clients and I became good friends with all of my coworkers. I will miss the people more than I can say, but I know that this was the right choice for me and my family.
On Running Away to the Beach for the Weekend
With work and school out of the way, we were all set to head out of town for my fall break. My husband and I loaded up the car and drove three hours east to spend Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at my best friend’s house. She lives about 45 minutes away from the beach, so the plan was to spend some time at the beach, visit an aquarium, and explore some of the coastal towns with the twins.
The drive out took four hours instead of three, and we had to make five stops… but we made it! We realized about halfway that we were close to the only LDS temple currently in North Carolina, so we made a quick pit-stop. For those of you that don’t know, my husband and I are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka Mormons!), but living in North Carolina means that our LDS community is smaller compared to somewhere like Utah. But I have lived here nearly my whole life, and I love it. Because I grew up here, and grew up a member of the church, I have seen this temple before, but my husband, a convert, never had. Before our pit-stop, I hadn’t seen this particular temple in nearly ten years. It has been completely redone since then, so it was amazing to see it in person. We are planning on getting sealed here in December, and we are so excited!
Once we finally arrived to my friend’s house, we enjoyed a weekend of eating whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted to, watching the dogs and puppies play, and exploring a little bit of the coast. It was so nice to not have to worry about school for a few days, to an extent. I’ve joked before that law school is eternal, and this trip was no exception, so I still had group chats blowing up, never-ending email threads, and a mountain of assigned readings looming over my shoulders at all time. But I tried really hard not to do more than the bare minimum and actually rest, and I’d say I was mostly successful.
Evelyn loved the beach, while Emersyn hated it. The ninety minutes we spent there felt like five years, and we couldn’t help but laugh as we waved out white flag and started packing up our things after only being there an hour and a half. They both loved the aquarium the next day, though, and I’m glad I got to spend so much time with them. Normally I just swoop in right before bedtime thanks to my work and school schedule, so having several consecutive days off was a nice change of pace. I was even able to sneak away to the beach with just my best friend and our dogs for a few hours, and the girl time was much needed!
We came back Sunday, and immediately began unpacking, sorting through laundry, and getting the house ready for all five kids. We knew that we wouldn’t really have any time to recover from our trip, but that didn’t make the transition run any smoother. Still, we did what we could and slept extra well that night!
I’m sure there are several typos in here, and for that, I apologize. Honestly, I have not had the time to give my writing the attention I would prefer lately. Whenever I do have a quiet moment, I find myself paralyzed by either exhaustion or depression, and when I wonder what’s wrong with me, I have to remind myself that I am still very much postpartum (only eight months!) and parenting five kids. The exhaustion and depression, and stress and anxiety and overwhelm and happiness and uncertainty are all to be expected. Although I am dreading full-time bar study beginning in December, I am very, very much looking forward to the day when I just have work — no homework, no studying, no fifteen extracurricular activities — and I know that I just have to be patient.
