I had the brief thought last Saturday that I should quit doing my Sunday newsletters, but that thought was immediately followed with, No, you’ve kept up with it for thirty-four weeks, don’t give up the streak!! Also these are a great way to document all of the little family updates, so do it for yourself if no one else! It doesn’t have to be anything fancy! It doesn’t even have to be on time!
Then a week went by, and I still didn’t write my weekly newsletter. But then I realized that I make the rules and, to put it simply, can do whatever I want, so we’re combining weekly newsletters and then getting back on track!
Welcome to October!
September 27th – October 3rd
This particular week started off with one of my favorite days of the year. My husband and I half-jokingly refer to it as my Super Bowl: our annual family trip to the pumpkin patch!
The whole family is on board, too, which kind of makes it even funnier. The kids know that I am picking their outfits, that the goal is to snap a few pictures, and that once that is done, they can run around the pumpkin patch and pick out their own pumpkins and play and whatnot. And in my defense! In my defense… we’ve been taking the same few photos for years, and the more years that go by, the more nostalgic, heart wrenching, and precious it is to compare those photos! So yes, I’m going to keep forcing my family to put on cute fall outfits and take photos at the pumpkin patch, for as long as I can. Sue me.
We knew this year with two seven-month-olds would be a little trickier, so we adjusted our expectations beforehand accordingly. Thankfully, the twins thought it was exciting, and everyone had a great time! Emersyn has been working on her standing lately, and can even pull herself to a stand, so she was sure to show that off for the camera. Meanwhile, I was in near tears the whole time just thinking of how fast time moves and how quickly babies grow. It felt like yesterday that I was there last year, halfway through my twin pregnancy, just dreaming of what it would be like to take all five of my kids there. And it felt like just another day before that that my husband and I took our three kids there for the first time, just a few months into us dating. So basically, I was having a nostalgic existential crisis at the pumpkin patch!
After our adventure, it was time for the older three kids to go to their other parents’ for the week, leaving Kevin and I with just the twins. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before, but especially since having the twins, I’ve really started to dread our weeks without the older kids. Kevin works late hours, so it is just me and the girls at home nearly every night. Honestly, it just gets really lonely, and I’ve learned that I actually prefer solo-parenting all five kids as opposed to just the twins. I’m sure this will change as the twins get older, but for now, it’s a bit of a struggle.
I decided to try and keep myself extra busy to combat the loneliness of the no-kid week, and it helped a lot! On Tuesday, the Chick-fil-a where Kevin works was having a family night, and every child was eligible for a free kids’ meal. Can the twins actually eat the food? Not exactly, but they tried some of the mac and cheese, so it counts!
Kevin happened to be on break right as I got there, which was a relief because I was a little overwhelmed at the idea of getting both twins in and out of the restaurant by myself. The double stroller is a beast to navigate in any enclosed space, and they obviously can’t wait, so I have just really struggled to get out of the house by myself. If the stroller can’t go, I can’t either if there’s not another adult. But Kevin was able to help me the whole time I was there, and I was so glad I got out of the house!
On Thursday, I helped throw a surprise birthday party for my mom! She turns fifty years old this year! My dad texted me a few weeks ago asking for help planning the party, so him, my mom’s best friend, and my mom’s sister-in-law/best friend/my aunt, and I all worked together to pull it off. My aunt even flew in from Chicago for a few days! My mom was actually surprised — to see my aunt and that we threw a party — so that was the best part of the night. My mom is one of the most thoughtful people I know, always making others feel special and taken care of, so it was great to return the favor. Kevin and I were also able to find a sitter for the twins, so it was our third time going out just us two since the twins were born!
With my aunt in town for the weekend, we enjoyed the first weekend of October in classic North Carolina style: having a day at the pool! It was over 80F and sunny, so it was perfect pool weather. The twins got to wear their cute little swimsuits for the first time and loved splashing around in the water! We are heading to the beach with them next week, so this was a perfect little test run… minus all of the sand, of course. Stay tuned for how that goes.
By the end of the week, we were experiencing fall weather again, which is also pretty on par for North Carolina. My best friend, Sara, and I were feeling extra ambitious, so we took the twins and both of our dogs on a hike. We couldn’t help but giggle the whole time, because whether it’s a hike with both babies and both dogs, taking the girls to a festival when they were eight weeks old while I was still exclusively pumping, something else, we are always willingly putting ourselves in these situations! We wouldn’t have it any other way, though, and I’m so glad that I have a friend who helps me still get out and about, even with the twins.
By the end of the week, I had succeeded in my mission to keep myself busy, and I was super tired. So tired, in fact, that I didn’t even write my weekly newsletter! Which is how I ended up in this situation, writing about two weeks at a time.
October 4th – 10th
On Sunday night, we had all five kids back under the same roof again. I was coming off of a week where I continually pushed myself outside of my comfort zone, and I decided to carry that same energy into this week. I figured that if I’m not careful, I’ll always have some excuse about why it’s too hard to leave the house with all five kids alone, so I just gotta do it. No hack or anything, just toss the diaper bag and double stroller in the car, send up a prayer, and hope for the best!
On Monday, a friend from church invited me and all of the kids over for dinner, which was so, so kind! Her husband is on residency, and my husband works nights most nights, so we joked that it was a “no husbands allowed” dinner. She made a delicious soup, and all of the kids had an absolute blast running around their huge, fenced-in backyard. Overall, my family of seven manages okay in our three bedroom townhome, but I do feel bad that we don’t really have a backyard or any sort of outdoor play space, so this was a special treat for them. Emersyn also learned that not only can she stand, but that she can push things around while standing, pictured below.
The rest of the week definitely had some parenting struggles, to keep it brief. One of our older three kids has just been really, really struggling with what is likely some form of anxiety, neurodivergence, or both. My husband and I both began noticing it years, literally years ago, but because seeking any sort of treatment involves the other biological parent being on board, progress has been slow. When you only have a kid with you half of the time, it’s especially hard. But now, this child’s struggles are impacting their behavior at school, so we finally have the ball rolling on getting them the help they need, but the whole situation has affected the entire family dynamic lately. I am just praying that we see some improvement soon, especially for the child’s sake, but for reasons that are hard to explain, there’s just really not much we could do.
It did factor significantly into me deciding to quit my job. This was a tough decision to make, because I love love love my job. But between what I detailed above, and lots of recent unfortunate events such as my car getting rear ended, my husband needing unforeseen dental work, needing to replace multiple tires, our dog needing extra care, and more, I just really needed the extra flexibility in my schedule that simply can’t happen if I’m working. Besides, my number one priority right now is passing the MPRE in November, graduating in December, and passing the bar in February. After that, work will be waiting for me.
Despite all of the new hardships this week brought, there was lots and lots of good. After our successful outing on Monday, I decided to take all five kids for a walk later in the week. It was so nice to get outside, and I swear everyone sleeps better if we all get some time in nature.
I had been promising my husband for weeks that he could have a night to himself on Thursday, in part to make up for the night I spent away at my friend’s house a few weeks ago. He went out after dinner and enjoyed strolling a bookstore in peace, while I hung back and painted pumpkins with the kids. I had originally told my husband that he could stay out as late as he wanted, but he showed back up at home around 8:30pm, saying that he missed me and would rather just be with me. I’m postpartum, so naturally, I cried.
I had an eye exam Friday, and you might be thinking, Okay, who cares?, but let me explain. I haven’t had my eyes checked in years, but I’ve known for a long time that my vision is not good. I can’t drive at night, my eyes hurt within minutes of reading my scriptures, and the last straw was at my mom’s party on Thursday, when I turned around and couldn’t find my husband because every single man wearing glasses all looked the same. I had to really focus and squint to pick him out!
After completing my eye exam, the doctor asked, in so many words, “How have you been able to read? Or drive?” Needless to say, I am about to become a full-time glasses wearer. NO, I do NOT want contacts, nobody tell me that. The only correct response is, “Awesome, you will look great in glasses!” All of this to say, if you’ve noticed any typos in my writing, we’re going to blame my apparently shitty eyesight.
My new glasses get here next week, which is great, because I’ve spent a lot of time staring at my computer screen lately… because I started writing a book! Finally! I’ve been thinking about this for weeks, to the point where I couldn’t put it off anymore. Well, I’ve been wanting to write a book since I was in the fourth grade, and I’ve always had lots of ideas, but this specific book idea — title, premise, and all — popped into my head and I’ve been thinking about it since. We’re only about 2,000 words in, and my goal is 70,000, so we’ve a ways to go, but I’m having fun!
Yeesh, this has been a long one. I can’t skip a week again, and if you read this all, thank you!
