Step by Step Parenting

This past Monday, it was like a switch flipped, and what feels like postpartum depression hit me like a freight train.

It’s too early to tell if it’s truly postpartum depression (PPD), if it’s the hormonal crash from weaning, or something else. All I know is that it feels like I’m back in 2021, when I was postpartum after having my first daughter, and I hate it.

I stopped breastfeeding my first daughter at only three months postpartum, and I stopped cold turkey. Apparently, you’re not supposed to do that! Nobody told me. I instantly was trapped on the wildest hormonal rollercoaster of my life, and I spiraled into a deep bout of PPD that lasted until my daughter was eighteen months old. I tried everything — therapy, multiple different medications, exercise, going vegan, changing my diet, keeping up with hobbies, etc. — but in the end, the only thing that helped was time.

When we found out that I was expecting twins, my OB/GYN warned me that I was at a higher risk for PPD or postpartum anxiety (PPA) due to the double dose of hormones coursing through my body. Imagine my surprise when one month after the twins, I felt great! And at two months postpartum! And three! And four!

I noticed a subtle shift around four months postpartum, but it wasn’t too bad. I stopped pumping at five months postpartum, though, and now, at just a day shy of six months postpartum, I’m struggling. Luckily, I’ve been here before. Well, hopefully this time isn’t as severe as last time, but the point is, I know what to do.

Every postpartum experience is different, of course. What worked last time might not work this time, and what works for me might not work for someone else. But based off of my own experiences, here are some habits I plan to implement this time before things get really bad.

1. Journaling

I have always been a huge proponent of journaling. I was gifted my first journal when I was in fourth grade, and I’ve been writing ever since.

Something that sucks about postpartum is it often feels extremely isolating. Not to mention that feelings can be all over the place, and it can often feel like you’re just along for the ride. Having a place to just dump all of your thoughts and worries and emotions not only helps you process them, but also helps you get things off of your chest. As months go by, you can look back at old entries and have tangible evidence of how far you’ve come.

Journaling doesn’t have to be pen and paper. Although that’s what I prefer, admittedly, I just don’t have time this go around like I did after my first daughter. Plus, my thoughts are racing so fast through my head, that I don’t think my hand could keep up! So instead, I’m writing on here regularly. Not everything I write will get published — some things are just for me — but allowing myself to type instead of handwrite has helped me stay consistent and have the outlet I need.

2. Drinking water and eating better

Listen, I love me some Dr. Pepper and oatmeal cream pies as much as the next gal. But when you’re postpartum your body is going through a lot. It’s trying to recovery from nine to ten month of pregnancy, and is either also producing breastmilk or recovering from not producing milk, both of which place a strain on hormones. Many postpartum moms struggle to get enough sleep, and that alone causes a whole other cascade of issues. And at least for me, once my mental health starts declining, that’s my sign that my body is basically saying, “Hey! We need help! Take care of us better!”

I start by drinking more water. This doesn’t mean cutting out my favorite fun beverages, but instead just means I’m trying to add more water first thing in the morning, with each meal, and before bed. And for the record, I think it’s always easier to focus on what you can add into your life than agonize over what you should restrict. So in addition to adding water, I also try to eat more fruits and vegetables, more protein, and to cook more of my meals from scratch. This is also a great time to try a multivitamin.

3. Getting in daily movement

After I had my first daughter, I went for a walk at our local park every single morning for the first several months of her life. I think that’s a huge part of why physically, I healed so quickly. My goal wasn’t to lose weight or “bounce back,” but rather just to take care of myself. To get some fresh air. To feel the sunshine on my skin. To hear the birds sing. My walks were just as much for my mental health as they were for my physical health.

Eventually, I got into running, and I enjoyed that even more. But if walking or running aren’t doing it for you, then try something else. There are so many fun forms of movement out there! Yoga, weightlifting, pilates, cycling, swimming, and hiking are all great.

4. Prioritizing sleep

I knowwww this is crazy advice for new moms, BUT if you pull it off, it really makes such a huge difference. It doesn’t have to look like eight hours of sleep a night. For me, this looks like not staying up late if I can help it, taking magnesium gummies to help make sure I fall asleep, and given myself permission to take naps during the day if the opportunity arises.

And if sleeping more really isn’t a possibility right now, I see you. Try to remember that this is just a season of life, and one day, you will sleep again.

5. Getting dressed every day

Trust me when I say that laying around in your fuzzy purple bathrobe all day will not make you feel better in the long run. I’m definitely not speaking from personal experience, because everyone has a purple fuzzy bathrobe… right? But really, whether you’re prone to chilling in a robe, pajamas, or sweats, try to actually get dressed instead.

Don’t get me wrong, there are days when loungewear is needed. But there’s a big difference between picking out a sweat set, putting your hair up in a cute claw clip, and washing your face, and rolling out of bed in your husband’s t-shirt and then staying in it all day, not brushing your hair until after lunch.

I have done both. There is a time and place for both. But sometimes, taking ten minutes in the morning to take care of YOU will go a long ways.

At the end of the day, these are all just tiny habits that cannot prevent or cure an actual mental health crisis. If you are really, really struggling, please reach out to your loved ones, a crisis hotline, or your provider. To all of the moms out there that are struggling in their postpartum era right alongside me, remember that it does get better, and we will get there. It will just take time.