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I swear I blinked, and it’s Sunday again, already! It definitely snuck up on me this time. When you get up every three hours, around the clock and through the night, the days start to blend together and time stops feeling real. I frequently have to pause and really think to figure out what day of the week it is. Or even what month it is.
Sometimes it feels as though I’m watching the world through a window, that life is passing by outside while I am stuck within the four walls of my home. I felt this way towards the end of my pregnancy with the twins, when it was in the middle of winter and I was in so much pain that leaving the house usually wasn’t practical. And I feel that way now, with two tiny newborns and a rigid pumping schedule that makes it difficult to plan any outing. The seasons have a way of sneaking up on you when you only go outside for but a few minutes every day.
But I know that there is a phase for everything in life. Not too many phases ago, I was training for ultramarathon races, and spending over six hours every Sunday running through the mountains. I didn’t yearn for more time outside then. But there was a big gaping hole in my life as I longed to be a part of a family again, since I was going through a divorce at the time. That’s just one example of how each season of life brings new challenges and desires, ones that sometimes resolve in another season or two. But we won’t notice those sweet resolutions if we’re constantly fixing our attention on the things we still want, or the ways in which our life still feels incomplete.
All of this to say, I’m trying my best to really lean into this postpartum season as I find ways to heal, learn, and grow. I want to feel like myself, but I also want to grow into someone better. I know that if I allow it, this season of life can shape me into someone more resilient, more patient, more creative, and more kind. I’m trying to embrace all of these possibilities, and not rush or resist them.
Week #6 Favorites & Highlights
Tiny little babies have taken over my life and now run the show (as they should!), which means many of my favorites and highlights now revolve around anything that makes my life as a new twin mom easier. I jokingly told my husband that it almost feels like I don’t have a personality anymore, just twins! Obviously I am kidding when I say that, and I think it’s very important to maintain a sense of identity throughout motherhood. But when you’re caring for two newborns who are 100% dependent on you and your milk to stay alive, naturally your priorities and perspective in life will shift, and that’s okay!
- Momcozy bottle washer. I hate to admit this, because I’m generally Team “You Don’t Need That” for almost all baby products. Changing tables, wipe warmers, bottle warmers, self-soothing bassinets, you name it… I think most are unnecessary. I’m sure it’s a side effect of me having my first baby at only twenty years old, when I couldn’t afford any of the fancy extras and made do anyways. But with twins? You go through soooo, SO many bottles a day, and especially when you’re getting up every three hours straight through the night, the bottle washer is a lifesaver. My favorite thing about it, and the reason I think it’s worth it, is because in less than two hours, you have a new round of clean and dry bottles. The dishwasher can’t do that.
- Burt’s Bees burp clothes. Another thing you will go through a lot of, and with twins, you’ll go through even more. This brand of burp clothes have been my favorite since I had my first, and they’re holding up just as well this time. They actually last through a whole feeding (or two!) and can clean up messes without me feeling like I need to use three of them to soak up one mess.
- These no-bake oat bites. I started making these when I was attending college in Hawaii and was first getting into running. I wanted a snack that (1) was healthy(ish) and (2) I could take to the beach on the days where I would be there from sunrise to sunset. These were perfect because they tasted good straight out of the fridge, or after melting in my beach bag for a few hours! Now, seven years later, I’ve discovered that they’re also essentially lactation bites, and they have been my favorite midnight snack between pumping sessions. I have tried in vain to find the original recipe for these, but my best guess is this is a recipe I created based off of looking at several recipes from different sites. Regardless, be sure to try them out because they are borderline addicting!
Screen Time: A Slow Death
My average daily screen time is the lowest it’s been since I started this newsletter, and I fear that now the only thing left to do to lower it further is to delete Instagram.
I’ve removed all of the games from my phone — I wasn’t playing them anyways — and I removed Facebook as well. I’ve also made a conscious effort to not doom scroll every time I feed or rock my babies, because I’d hate for that to be what they see every time, and I doubt they need extra exposure to blue light.
I also permanently deleted an Instagram account, which surprisingly felt great. There’s been times that I’ve been managing over five accounts at once, since I’ll frequently step in and act as social media manager for clubs and organizations at school. At a minimum, I’ve ran three accounts: my personal account for family and friends, my “running” account where I used to post exclusively running content but now is kind of a mess, and my blog’s account, where I posted updates on articles I’d written.
The latter is the one that I permanently deleted. I always share links to my articles on the other two accounts anyways, and besides, I much prefer Substack now as a platform to promote my writing. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, but time is better spent on Substack than almost any other form of social media, at least in my opinion.
I still haven’t made quite as much progress as I would like, but I’m pleased enough with the improvements that I’ve seen in the past six weeks. As my late beloved grandpa would say, points is points!
Self-Care Tip of the Week
Get outside at least once a day!
I know this sounds unattainable, trust me. With two newborns, three older kids, and a puppy, leaving the house can be a major challenge for me. I either need help watching the kids so that I can go outside alone, or at least with just the newborns, or I need to somehow get five kids, and all that they need, out the door. My diaper bag already needs twice the essentials, and with three older kids? Phew. I’m just glad I have a big diaper bag.
The benefits of getting outside daily, even for ten minutes, far outweigh the difficulties of getting there. Feeling the sunshine on your skin, listening to the sounds of nature, and breathing in fresh air all have a way of completely reseting your mind and changing the tone of the whole day.
I cling to the healing effects of the outdoors when I’m postpartum. When I had my first daughter, I lived in a city where I had no family and it was during COVID. The isolation could have swallowed me whole. To combat the loneliness and depression that seemed to always linger around the corner, I started going for a walk at the local park every morning. I built it into my daughter and I’d routine, being sure to plan it around feedings and wake windows. Our first walk was when she was only a week old, and I attribute my quick recovery to all of that time spent outside.
Now, I’m not suggesting that getting outside will prevent postpartum depression (it didn’t for me) or guarantee a speedy postpartum recovery (I’m sure having kids in my young twenties helped more than daily walks did). But I am saying that, postpartum or not, the positive impact that going outside has on your mental health is undeniable.
I cannot believe I’m wrapping up week six of this newsletter! To those of you who have been here since week one, and to those of you who have joined along the way, thank you for being here! See all y’all next week! xoxo, Megan
Step by Step Parenting 