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What a week! Like I mentioned last time, our induction date was Monday, February 23rd. I am happy to report that I was induced around two o’clock in the morning that day and the twins arrived safely at 11:28am and 11:31am! I can’t wait to share more details about their birth.
We ended up staying in the hospital for four nights (another story that is forthcoming), and finally returned home on Thursday in the late afternoon. Our three older kids got back from my mom’s within the hour, and then we spent the next several days adjusting to being a family of seven. Needless to say, not much writing happened this week.
But as I’ve mentioned before, writing truly does heal and nourish my soul, so even finding thirty or so minutes to write this weekly newsletter does me wonders. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but the simple act of writing on a regular basis is cathartic and especially welcome during an otherwise crazy phase of life. So without further ado, week four, here we go!
Postpartum Confessions: It’s Not You, It’s Him
I can’t even remember what we were laughing about, but I remember that I was laughing so hard that both my husband and I were tearing up. It was somewhere between three and five in the morning in a hospital room, and I can almost guarantee that whatever had tickled us so much was probably not that funny. But it was in that moment that I realized the impact that your partner has on your postpartum experience.
When it comes to surviving the newborn days, a lot of people talk about the importance of sharing the mental load, of dads being involved during postpartum, of parents equally dividing household responsibilities, and more. And all of those things are crucial to making the postpartum period more bearable. But you know what else makes this season of life ten times easier?
Being best friends with your partner.
At the end of the day, parenting is easier when you’re doing it with the person who makes you pee your pants from laughing, in the middle of the night in the hospital, days after giving birth. Parenting is easier when you’re with someone who doesn’t get phased by a screaming baby (or two!), when it sounds like nails on a chalkboard to you. Parenting is easier with someone who doesn’t need a list of ways to help, but instead just helps.
There are lots of ways that this postpartum experience is different from my last. I am older, I’ve been through it before, I’m more educated on how to care for both me and the babies. But I can’t deny the difference that my husband has made, either. I braced for impact before giving birth to my twins and prepared for the worst. I forewarned my husband of the nightmare I would become once I was no longer pregnant.
That version of me is nowhere to be found, however. I absolutely still get overwhelmed, anxious, overstimulated, and irritated. The hormones are hormone-ing. I’ve sobbed uncontrollably over minor inconveniences several times already. And there is still plenty of time for things to go south. I am not naive enough to think that this whole postpartum thing will be a walk in the park.
Somehow, though, I’m not worried. Because when you’re with the right person, you just know.
Week #4 Favorites & Highlights
This week has been quite the adjustment. For starters, we spent over half of the week in the hospital following the birth of our twins. Then when we arrived home, it took us several days to find out new rhythm as a family of seven, and I am sure we will continue to reshape the rhythm again and again as time goes on! Through all of the changes, these are a few of my favorite things that helped me through this week.
- Tulips. I have never been a spring person (thanks, allergies), but this year feels different. I have two tiny little babies that will grow up as the world blooms around us, and it has been hard to ignore the timeliness of that. To honor the season, I picked up some pink tulips from Trader Joe’s the day before we went to the hospital. Towards the end of our stay, I was worried that the flowers had died in my absence, and that I didn’t even get to enjoy them. But on the contrary, when we came home four days later, they were in full, glorious bloom on my kitchen table.
- Matching pajama sets. I got hooked on these during pregnancy, and now that I’m postpartum and breastfeeding, the button-down pajama sets are even more convenient. For some reason, I also feel so much more put-together when I’m wearing a matching set, as opposed to an old T-shirt.
Screen Time Check-In: What’s the Point?
I am happy to announce that only four weeks into this newsletter, I’m ready to toss this part of it and forget I ever tried to reduce screen time this year. I give up.
Kidding! Mostly.
I was curious to see how my habits would change this week, since my induction was scheduled for Monday. Surely this would result in less time on my phone, yes? Wrong. Instead, I used my phone to track the twins’ feeding sessions, my pumping sessions, and to take no less than 250 photos of my newborns. I placed grocery orders because I knew I would not be able to visit the store anytime soon. I FaceTimed family and friends from the confines of the hospital room. So no, my screen time was not down. But it’s not really just time on my phone that I’m trying to lessen. More specifically, it’s wasted time.
With that more specific goal in mind, then, this week was a success. Technology is a tool, and nothing more, and it has many great uses (or at least less harmful ones). With that in mind, the goal never should have been less screen time, but instead more time spent intentionally, whether that’s on or off a screen.
I am a sucker for neatly defined, number-driven goals. I never tell myself, “I want to run more,” but instead, “I want to run 500 miles this year.” It’s never, “I want to read more books,” but instead, “I want to read 20 books this summer.” Life requires more flexibility than that.
So yes, I spent more time on my phone this week, and yes, I am realizing this might be my new normal. But that’s okay, because I still spent less time wasting time!
Self-Care Tip of the Week
I’m going to keep this short and sweet this week:
Ask for and accept help.
That’s all for this week folks! I appreciate anyone who supports my writing by reading these newsletters, and I’m excited to share more lil stories and insights over the next several weeks to come. See you all next week!
Step by Step Parenting 