Step by Step Parenting

You change when you’re in law school. Ask any attorney. It’s a unique, intense, difficult, and refining process. If it wasn’t, it would be too easy. Law school changes the way you think, the way you manage your time, the way your view yourself, your peers, and the world. When things get tough, you find a way to adapt and survive, because you have to. I frequently remind myself of the amount of money I have invested into law school, and that not only can I not afford to fail for my family’s sake, but that I can’t afford to fail because there’s no backup plan. This is it.

Of course, having work-life balance is important, and in general I would say I’m pretty good at that. But the realities I just described above have led to lots of funny, “Who am I?” moments while in school. In fact, I have a bulletin board in my home office that has an index card which says, “Crazy Things I’ve Done on My Law School Journey,” surrounded by sticky notes of, you guessed it — crazy things I’ve done to survive school. These include instances such as the time I woke up at 5am the day before my wedding to work on a research log all day, the time I still went to class the day after I got married, the time I adopted a puppy a few weeks before finals because law school was making me sad, or any of the times I’ve woken up at 4am or stayed up until 1am just to study around my kids’ sleeping. And in June 2025, another one of those, “Wow, law school really has changed me” moments occurred:

I watched the pregnancy test turn positive, and my brain immediately started calculating when the due date would be to see if it would conflict with any final exams. Not, “Oh my gosh I’m pregnant!” or “I can’t wait to tell my husband!” … my first concern… was finals.

I knew from the moment I found out I was pregnant that I wouldn’t take a break from school. I knew that I would push through until graduation no matter what. I had already spent six years getting my bachelor’s rather than the planned four, because navigating childbirth, a divorce, and becoming a single mom took priority. I said when I started law school that I wanted to graduate ASAP so that I could provide a better life for my family, and I wasn’t going to let pregnancy stop me. When I found out it was twins, I became a little more scared and unsure of my plan, but the determination was still there. I mean, I gave birth to my daughter during undergrad, and that worked out okay, so this couldn’t be that much harder, right? Wrong. Very wrong.

Surviving My Summer Internship & A Summer Course

I had been looking forward to my 1L summer internship for months. It was with one of the largest non-profit law firms in the state, and in a field I was interested in working in post-graduation. On top of an internship, I also signed up for one summer class, Professional Responsibilities, to prepare me to that the MPRE at the end of the summer. I figured with no commute, no in-person school, and working from home, that getting all of this done would be a breeze. That is, until I found out I was pregnant after work on June 26th, 2025 — only nine days into my internship.

I knew from my previous pregnancy that being pregnant would make it significantly harder to work, especially during the first trimester. With my first, though, I worked full-time all the way until 32-36 weeks pregnant (and in a restaurant, on my feet, during COVID!), so I was convinced I could make this work.

What I was not prepared for, however, was the extra toll that being pregnant with twins would have on my ability to function. Although we didn’t confirm it was twins until July 21st, 2025, I knew as soon as I saw the positive pregnancy test that it was twins, and all of the symptoms that followed confirmed my suspicions. I was ravenous and simply could not eat enough food, and I was more tired than I had ever been in my life. It felt like I was drugged, or walking around wearing a weighted vest at all times. And this was all before the nausea hit around week 8! Once that happened, I was placed on three different medications in an attempt to manage my nausea, but was still pretty much bedridden.

Luckily, I reached out to my internship coordinator and was able to cut my hours in half. This helped immensely, and allowed me to make sure I was being productive during work hours while not completely stretching myself thin. Even so, I was still barely able to make it through work each day, and by time I did, there was no energy left for my summer course. I ended up passing the class, but not with a great grade (a C+), and I ended up deferring the MPRE until November instead of taking it in August.

I didn’t end the summer with a ton of confidence heading into my 2L year, but I knew that the first trimester is always the worst. The first day of fall semester was also the first day of my second trimester of pregnancy, so I figured that every week during fall semester would get better and better.

Starting 2L Year at the Start of Second Trimester

I told myself, “Every passing week of this semester will get easier and easier” so many times that by the time school started, I believed it. I was sure that by sheer will power alone, I could muscle my way through the semester. Anytime someone asked what my plan was to balance pregnancy and school, I would shrug and say the plan was to be miserable and do it anyways. Most of my classmates have never been pregnant, so no one really understood how crazy this plan was. No one, that is, until I spoke with my writing professor.

“Wow,” she said, “when I was thirteen weeks, I still felt awful!”

That was the first time someone acknowledged how sick I likely felt. I don’t think many others knew to even ask. I responded that yes, I actually did still feel pretty awful, that I had just been ignoring it, but I was grateful that she checked in with me.

That was pretty much how all of fall semester went. Every week, I told myself that next week would be better, and every time, I was wrong. I struggled to make it through 90 minute lectures without getting sick, I struggled to survive the one-hour commute to and from school, and some days, even to walk from my car to the building felt like a struggle. I was so sick from week 5 to week 24 of my pregnancy that I lost over ten pounds.

Still, I dragged myself to and from school, almost every day. I don’t know how much I absorbed sitting in the back of class trying not to hurl, but I was there. I barely kept up with readings, but tried my best, and most days was in bed by 5pm. I missed dinners with my family, bedtimes with my kids, and hours of studying I wanted to get done every day, because I simply could not function.

When I Realized I Had Made a Mistake

For awhile, I had convinced myself and everyone around me (maybe) that my plan was working. Everyone knew I was miserable, sure, but that just comes with the territory. Even my Business Associations midterm, which I was sure I would fail because it honestly felt like my brain wasn’t absorbing anything despite my best efforts, went fine. I was right at the median, right where I typically am. I took that as a sign that even though I felt like I had no brain cells, that my effort was still somewhat paying off.

The first cracks in the facade weren’t low grades, however. Sometime between that midterm and Thanksgiving break, things just felt… off. I knew that I wasn’t as prepared as I needed to be for finals, even if I had been keeping up with readings, assignments, and passing the midterms. As someone who has kept meticulous records of every single minute spent studying for every single class, I knew how much time I needed to study for upcoming finals. There wasn’t enough time left.

By 24 weeks pregnant, I felt defeated. I realized that I had spent the past ten weeks telling myself that next week would be better, and that for ten weeks, that hadn’t been true. I was still nauseous, I was still getting sick. At only 24 weeks, I was the same size I was the day before I gave birth to my first child, so I was physically extremely uncomfortable. I realized that I just wanted to give up and lay in bed, that balancing a twin pregnancy and law school actually was too hard for me and that I wasn’t superwoman. But by time I realized I couldn’t do it, it was too late.

Pushing Through the MPRE & Finals

Obviously, I didn’t have the best mentality heading into finals. The first weekend of November, my final appellate brief was due, the next weekend I had to take the MPRE, and then it was time to study by butt off until my remaining two final exams the first week of December.

At this point, it was about damage control. I went into the semester telling myself that my only goal was to pass my classes, not get any certain grade, but now, I really knew that was the only goal. That last month was a blur as I rushed to finish my paper, take the MPRE, and outline entire courses. In fact, I barely had time to study for the MPRE, and decided that if I had to retake it, then oh well. There are no penalties for retaking the MPRE, and several people have to take it multiple times before they get what’s considered a passing score for their jurisdiction. I still showed up on test day and took it anyways, but I prioritized my graded finals. I knew I wouldn’t be able to retake those.

Luckily, some last-minute motivation kicked in and I walked into both of my final exams feeling pretty prepared. I walked out of one of them feeling like it didn’t go completely terrible, which for law school, is a win. The other course, I didn’t feel great about, but how you feel about a final has zero correlation with how well you actually performed. I’ve walked out of finals feeling like I bombed it, only to get an A in the class, and I’ve left finals feeling like I did okay, only to find out I barely passed. So all in all, despite my last-minute panic and regret about even attempting a semester of law school pregnant, I felt proud of myself for making it to the finish line regardless of what the outcome turned out to be.

Looking Ahead to Next Semester

That proud feeling for pushing through faded pretty quickly when I found out that I failed the MPRE and got my worst grade of all of law school in my writing class just days into winter break.

I knew passing the MPRE was a stretch, and since I had already mentally prepared for that outcome, it wasn’t too upsetting. The thought of having to study for it again and pay the registration fees again is a little disappointing, but at least I know for certain that it will be easier when I’m not pregnant. I still learned from the experience of taking it, so I will be better prepared for next time, and that’s enough for me.

But that grade… I knew the final grades for my writing class would be among some of the first final grades released. Final grades typically take weeks to come out, something I mention and write more about here. I’m no longer a 1L, so I wasn’t planning on checking for updates as often as I did last winter break, but still, it was extremely discouraging that the only final grade I could see for weeks was literally the worst grade I’ve ever received. It wasn’t bad enough to put me on academic probation or anything like that (been there, done that in undergrad), but it was bad enough to make me even more anxious about receiving the rest of my final grades and put a damper on winter break.

Over two weeks later, after Christmas, we received the rest of our grades. I was relieved that the rest of my grades were not as bad as the one in my writing class, and that I had passed all of my classes. Being pregnant during law school has been one of the hardest experiences I’ve ever gone through, so I was more than happy to simply pass my classes. After all, the last time I’d attempted a full-time semester when I was pregnant with my first, I ended up having to withdraw, and therefore fail, all of my classes. This time, not only did I not have to withdraw, but I was able to (1) complete my classes, (2) do way more work, (3) pass all the classes, and (4) grow two humans, not just one. That’s something to be proud of!

My next semester of law school starts tomorrow and honestly, finding out that I passed my classes last semester was not as comforting as I thought it would be, even if it is something to be proud of. Winter semester will be more challenging for several reasons. For starters, the semester is only ten weeks instead of fourteen, so the timeline for all of the courses is accelerated. Then there’s the obvious: I have to give birth during this semester. Given the nature of twins, labor can occur naturally really anytime between 32 and 38 weeks… and I’ll be 31 weeks on the first day of the term. I’d love to make it to my scheduled C-section at 38 weeks, but the truth is, I have no idea how far into this term I’ll make it! Talk about nerve-wracking!

I’ve prepared as much as I can. I have communicated my situation to all of my professors, and we have plans A, B, C, and all the way to E or F figured out. I have my scheduled all ironed out. The nursery is done, the hospital bag is packed, there’s a week’s worth of freezer meals in the freezer that are ready to go for whenever I give birth.

All that’s left to do is wait, hope, and pray. I (somewhat) successfully managed law school and pregnancy at the same time, so now it’s time to see if I can manage law school and childbirth/postpartum at the same time, too!