Step by Step Parenting

When my husband and I started dating, between the two of us, we already had three kids. Given that, and the fact that by the time we would be ready to have more, Kevin would be almost forty, I assumed that having more kids was off the table. Despite not feeling “done” when I got divorced at 22, I knew that the likelihood of me having more kids would be smaller. After having my first, I suffered two back-to-back losses, so the idea of never having more kids made me kind of sad. To my surprise, though, Kevin said that he would want more kids! We decided early on that once we were married, we wanted at least one more kid. We always joked that it would be just our luck that we would have twins, but little did we know…

Flash forward to two years after we had started dating, and Kevin and I were married. A little over two months later, I was feeling off after work and decided to take the only pregnancy test I had left. After obsessively testing the previous cycle to the point where it damaged my mental health, I had decided to not take any pregnancy tests this time around until I actually missed my period. It was still a few days early, but I felt prompted to take the last test anyways.

The test turned positive immediately, meaning I was only 3 weeks and 5 days pregnant– not far along at all! Still, the test was more positive than any I had taken before, to the point where the control line was faint. The second the pregnancy test turned positive, I knew it was twins.

When Kevin got home from work, I was able to surprise him and tell him that I was pregnant. We were so excited, we both cried! The next day, I called my OB/GYN, and then the agonizing wait until my 8 week scan began. Despite having no confirmation, I told everyone I knew that I thought it was twins. Some people immediately agreed, others assured me there was no way to know. And maybe they were right. But when Kevin and I went to that first ultrasound a month later, there were two! I had suspected it since the beginning, but still, nothing prepares you for seeing TWO little babies growing inside you.

I was very happy to say, “I told you so!” to those who thought I was crazy for thinking it was twins. And although they were right in the sense that there’s no surefire way to know you’re expecting twins before getting an ultrasound, here are some of the things that convinced me I was expecting two:

1. A very positive, very early test.

Anyone who has spent anytime in the TTC world knows that you’re not supposed to take a pregnancy test until you actually miss your period. If you’re tracking your cycle and know the day you ovulate, sometimes people will take a pregnancy test early, usually around 10-12 days post ovulation (referred to as 10 DPO or 12 DPO).

I knew that by taking a test at only 10 DPO, my chances of having an accurate test were lower than if I waited four more days until my missed period. If it were to be negative, that wouldn’t necessarily mean I wasn’t pregnant, just that it was too early. But the opposite happened– that test was super, SUPER positive! I am not exaggerating when I say that the test turned positive in less than a minute. I didn’t even have a chance to surprise myself!

While plenty of people get strong early positives without expecting twins, I knew that the strong positive meant there was already a high amount of hCG in my body, which is more common in twin pregnancies.

2. I was super tired.

By the time I was 4 weeks pregnant, I felt like a walking zombie. I have truly never felt so tired and groggy in my life, not even during my first pregnancy. Sure, I was tired the first time around, and I slept a lot, but this felt different. I felt like I was drugged, or like I was wearing a weighted blanket at all times. Not a fun feeling when you’re trying to juggle a full-time internship, an online class for law school, and parenting three kids!

A lot of people report being more tired in their second or third pregnancies, especially if they’re now caring for toddlers and kids, but I knew that this wasn’t that. I was extremely tired even on days we didn’t have the kids, first thing in the morning, after drinking caffeine, etc. Looking back, it makes sense why I was so tired– my body was busy growing two placentas and two babies, all while keeping me alive. No wonder I was tired!

3. I was starving at all times.

When I was 4-7 weeks pregnant, before I got super sick, I was STARVING. I felt like I needed to be eating constantly! This was something I didn’t really experience in previous pregnancies, so naturally I wondered if the extra hunger was because I was eating for three.

This was exactly the case! It quickly faded once the morning sickness set in, but for those first few weeks, I enjoyed eating anything I wanted without a care in the world.

4. I was also super, SUPER sick.

I was extremely sick during my first pregnancy, so I expected to be sick this time around, too. Somehow, it’s been both better and worse. Fortunately, I didn’t start to get really sick until around 9-10 weeks pregnant; my first pregnancy, I was sick before I even took a test. But despite the morning sickness staying away for a few extra weeks, once I got sick, I got sick. 

The nausea during the first trimester was 24/7, and even now that I’m 15 weeks pregnant, I’m only marginally better. My OB/GYN prescribed me three different anti-nausea meds this pregnancy, so I can only imagine how sick I would be without them. Overall, this pregnancy has been worse in terms of sickness. Turns out that’s normal with twins!

5. Fraternal twins run in my family.

My mom is a twin, so growing up I had always heard the old wives tale that having twins skips a generation. My sister and I had always wondered which of us would be the “lucky” one to get to have twins, or if it would be both or neither of us. Once I got older, I learned that while the legitimacy of the skipping-a-generation trend is up for debate, that you are more likely to have twins if you (1) are a female and (2) there are twins on your maternal side of the family. Because of this, I knew that statistically I was more likely than the average person to have twins.

Now, none of these things individually can indicate that you’re expecting twins. But combined, it was enough to raise my suspicions. In hindsight, I am glad that I had a few extra weeks of being convinced I was expecting twins before anything was confirmed, because it helped my husband and I avoid a total meltdown during that first ultrasound! There are lots of extra worries that come with expecting twins, especially from being labelled as a high-risk pregnancy. But I am grateful that from the beginning, I have been able to see this pregnancy for what it really is: a blessing.