Step by Step Parenting

I have never experienced anything quite like finals week after my first semester of law school. To say that I was ready for a break would be a massive understatement.

The farther I got into the semester, the worse my mental health got, as well. We were done with classes by Thanksgiving break, but the following Monday marked the start of finals season. I had one final that Friday, December 6th, and one final the next Monday. So Thanksgiving “break” wasn’t really a break at all. Starting the day before Thanksgiving, I studied as much as I could for the upcoming final exams. One of them was going to be 55% of my final grade for the course, and the other was going to be around 70%, so regardless of how I felt like I was doing in the class thus far, a lot would depend on this one test.

Needless to say, it was the most stressed I think I’ve ever been, and by the time I walked out of my last final on December 9th, I was ready to sleep and/or cry for at least three days. The next term wasn’t going to start until January 6th, so that gave me about four weeks to recover… and if you know me at all, you already know how the rest of this story goes!

Week 1: A Cold, Running, and Holiday Activities

December 9th – December 14th

My school has a policy that our final course grades have to be posted within 14 days of taking the final, so I knew that we would likely not get our grades until closer to the end of those 14 days. Rather than check my email for grades multiple times a day, I stayed strong and only checked once a day, and tried to distract myself by enjoying all of the things I missed out on during the past three and a half months of school.

My immune system did not get the memo unfortunately, and I woke up with a cold the day after my last final. I had felt it coming on, so I wasn’t entirely surprised. I was mostly just glad that I had somehow managed to not get sick at all during the semester. I would much rather be sick on break than sick while school was in session. So I counted my blessings and my Sudafed, and powered through.

My daughter still had preschool this week, so I tried to go for a run while she was in school each day. I barely ran at all during fall semester and I missed it dearly, and I think its absence played a part in my mental health struggles during school. I had skipped out on runs because I “didn’t have time,” but not running was not worth the toll it took on me mentally. One of my biggest goals next semester is to exercise more regularly. That being said, I had been looking forward to winter break for weeks because I knew I would have total freedom to run again. It wasn’t anything crazy, but I enjoyed having some consistency with my running this first week of break. Outside of running, I used my free time to deep clean my room, organize and pack away my notes, and slowly begin to get ready for the next semester.

When my daughter came home from school, I tried to soak up as much quality time with her as possible. Missing her was something else I struggled with once law school started (you can read more about that here), and she was also excited that mommy had no more homework. We helped my mom decorate sugar cookies, unwrapped a new Christmas book each night before bed (a tradition my mom started when I was a kid), and built a gingerbread house.

My first semester of law school brought out the worst in me, but by the end of this first week of winter break, I felt like myself again. Honestly, I felt better than I had in months. I jokingly told my mom, “Well, I have 99 problems and I guess law school was all of them, because I feel amazing now!” I’m sure this won’t come as a surprise to anyone, but a week of drinking more water, eating a little healthier, exercising more consistently, and resting, both physically and mentally, made a HUGE difference. What’s even better is that this week seemed to crawl by, so I felt extremely rested by the end of that first week. I had expected winter break to fly by, but thankfully, that wasn’t the case.

Week 2: Half Marathon Training, Fake Christmas, and Grades

December 15th – December 21st

Once the second week started, I was feeling so much better that I decided to pull the most Megan move ever: I signed up for a half marathon that was only 27 days away! I had been eying the race for awhile, since it’s at one of my favorite state parks and it takes place on my 25th birthday. My friend/coach had already signed up, and when he asked if I was doing it, I explained that although I really wish I could, I didn’t think I had the time to train or the money to sign up. Well, within a few hours, I received an early birthday present, which conveniently allowed me to sign up for the race. My friend reminded me (and he was very right) that training for a race and running some trails again would be good for me. Thank you, James!

With that, I began my “couch to half marathon in 27 days” training plan, which included not just running, but walking, hiking, and strength training. Since the race is only a week into school, it won’t distract from my studies at all. Plus, I can’t think of a better way to celebrate turning a quarter of a century old than running trails in the mountains! Stay tuned for more race details, because I’m going to dress up, eat treats, and go all out for this race.

On Thursday, my daughter’s preschool did their Christmas program, and it was so cute! We had only transferred her to that preschool two weeks prior — it’s the preschool she originally attended when she was two years old, we just tried a different preschool out this year and ended up moving her back — so we weren’t sure how it was going to go. All of her teachers gushed about how well she had adjusted back to the school, how quickly she learned all of the songs and dances, and overall how much fun she was having. It was very comforting to hear as a parent, and of course, my daughter had so much fun performing. She wasn’t even shy! Afterwards, we swung by my friend Sara’s house to meet her new puppy, and then we headed home.

Since I was set to fly to California on Saturday and not return until Christmas Day, my parents and I decided to do an early Christmas with my daughter on Friday morning. She is already used to Santa coming twice, once to my house and once to her dad’s, so this wasn’t too hard to explain to her. At four years old, this is the most excited she’s ever been for Christmas, since she actually understands what is going on. On Thursday night, we laid out cookies and Diet Coke for Santa. I told my daughter that Santa actually prefers Diet Coke over milk, and that’s why Santa is on the Diet Coke can. Thank you, Coca-Cola, for helping me pull that off! Santa did indeed enjoy his bubbly treat. When we woke up Christmas morning, we all opened presents and had a great time.

My daughter went back to her dad that morning, and I began packing for California. By Friday, despite checking for grades multiple times every day because I was convinced we were going to get them this week, I had given up, and accepted that I might have to go most of break just not knowing. Around 5pm, a classmate sent a message in the group chat asking why our Civil Procedure grade was missing, to which I responded that they were all missing. Someone else said, “No, I have all of them except for CivPro.” I logged on, and sure enough, they were right. While I was waiting for the page to load, my heart was beating out of my chest. I honestly wasn’t sure if I was going to pass, since it had been a rough semester, and all I wanted was to simply just… pass my classes. I was too scared to have my expectations much higher. The page finally loaded, and I immediately started to cry.

I had done way, way better than I thought I would have! They were tears of relief. For some, this might seem silly, but I have truly never poured my heart and soul into school before like I had this semester, so I was just praying my grades would reflect that. I wasn’t always the strongest student in high school and college — I was smart, but didn’t know how to study and was a lucky test taker — so this was all a huge learning curve for me. But with almost all of my grades finally in, I could breathe a little easier. I texted my parents the good news. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of my chest.

The only catch was we were still missing one grade. Nobody knew how we did in Civil Procedure, or when we would get our final grade for that class. Personally, that was the class I struggled the most with and lost the most sleep over. But as anxious as I was to find out how I did in the class, I tried to celebrate the grades I did know about and continue to relax and enjoy the break from school!

Week 3: California, Writing, and Sleeping

December 22nd – December 28th

I started off this week in California (you can read more about the trip here), and I’m so glad I was able to go. It was so nice to spend time somewhere different, visit California for the first time in almost three years, and just soak up some more family time. My family has always lived all over the country, with my mom being from California and my dad being from Illinois, so any time with my extended family is a treat.

While I was in California, in addition to everything mentioned above, I also had a lot of time to write. I was also able to write while waiting at the airport and on both flights. Writing truly is such an outlet for me- I’ve been writing poems and stories since I was in elementary school, and there’s a reason for that. It’s both a creative outlet and one of my favorite ways to express myself, and it’s a cathartic and calming way to process my emotions. Plus, I love having journal entries, letters, and yes, even blog posts and Instagram reels to look back on. I hardly had any time to write or create anything while in school, so on break, I tried to make the most of it! Don’t be surprised at the blog posts that will still be rolling out well into next semester- I wrote over ten posts during break, which ended up being over 10,000 words.

I flew back from California early Christmas morning, and didn’t land home in North Carolina until around dinner time. My fiancé picked me up from the airport, and since all of our kids were with their other parents for the holiday, we were able to have Christmas dinner with just us two. The one problem? We forgot to actually plan in advance what this dinner would be! We ended up driving around town aimlessly, and after a few misses, we settled on a Chinese all-you-can-eat buffet. This accidental Christmas dinner ended up being amazing; in fact, it was so amazing that my fiancé and I joked we should make it a new Christmas tradition! We’ll see how that plays out, but if you’re ever in Clemmons, North Carolina, be sure to check out Mandarin Chinese Restaurant.

My plan had been to not adjust to the time change in California, in order to make traveling back home easier. This meant my plan was to wake up around 5am every day in California, and be in bed by 9pm. This almost worked… until the last day, which meant when I was back in North Carolina, my sleep schedule was messed. Up. Christmas was on Wednesday, and I spent the rest of the week catching up on sleep. I had a hard time waking up before noon, but then found myself wanting a full meal at 8pm and staying up well past midnight. I didn’t end up getting back on a good sleep schedule until the following week.

Since it was my last full week where I could pretend like law school didn’t exist, I made sure to try and hang out with my friends before I disappeared again. We were still missing our final grade, but at this point I had given up on checking as often. I tried my best to stay busy and distracted. My good friend Jared and I met up to complain about our life choices and swap our worries about the upcoming semester (grad school friends just get it). My friend Luis and his boyfriend Cameron took me out to lunch. I spent a few hours at my ex-husband’s house hanging out with him and our daughter. And Kevin and I went out for one last real date night (“real” simply being anything more than fast food and Netflix), where I showed him some of my favorite spots downtown. Although there’s never “enough” time with friends and loved ones because I always want more, I felt nice and recharged, and ready to take on another semester. It’s hard to kiss goodbye to a social life for months on end, but I’m grateful for friends that get it and are there waiting when I’m on break.

Week 4: New Year, New Goals

December 29th – January 5th

And just like that, it was the last week of winter break! Professors began posting their syllabi for our upcoming classes, our reading assignments were up, and I ordered all of my textbooks and school supplies. When I started my first semester back in the fall, my flight from Utah landed on Sunday, and I started classes on Monday. It was not enough time to prepare, and so I made sure this time to have all my ducks in a row several days beforehand. It also helps that unlike last semester, where I had NO idea what to expect, that I at least have a slight idea of what to expect this time in terms of how I prefer to study, how to read a casebook, and how to plan out my time.

I printed off everything I would need for the first week of school, and sorted it into different binders based on class. Starting in January, I’ll be studying Contracts and Criminal Law, as well as taking another legal writing class. This is also the time that 1Ls are encouraged to apply for summer internships, so I carved out some time this week to update my resume and start working on cover letters. The idea of an unpaid internship is a hard pill to swallow as a mom, but I’d rather shoot my shot and see what happens, than not try at all.

Tuesday was New Year’s Eve, and I had promised my fiancé that I would briefly pause my school prep for New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day in order to fully enjoy the holiday with my family. And I’m so glad that I did! This was our first time celebrating New Year’s together, since I was out of state last year, and we were able to start some fun new traditions with our kids. I made my favorite French onion dip that my sister normally makes, Kevin made his buffalo chicken dip that he had been hyping up for years, and we also put out a fruit tray, a veggie tray, a charcuterie board, and a bowl of m&m’s for the kids. My daughter saw us getting the table ready with all of the food we had prepared and said, “Yay! It’s snack day!” That quickly stuck and is what all three kids called it all day, so we will probably keep that around forever!

We did an early celebration with the kids around 9pm, where we pulled up an old New Year’s Eve countdown from YouTube and poured everybody sparkling apple juice into our champagne glasses. The kids loved it! They all got to celebrate the new year without having to actually stay up until midnight. They had so much fun, and it was such a special memory for Kevin and I.

As my final week of winter break wrapped up, I tried to squeeze in as many social events as possible. I grabbed lunch with a friend from middle school, coffee with a law school friend, and drinks with some girlfriends. My fiancé’s family came over for a playdate with all of the kids, and I set up a few more playdates for my daughter during the coming weeks. I delivered a few last-minute gifts, and then, I got my final gift:

Nearly a month after taking our Civil Procedure final exam, our grades were in!

I had been joking with a classmate only an hour prior about how we might never get that grade back, so this was a coincidence and a surprise all rolled into one. I logged on to my laptop as fast as possible while calling my fiancé, so I didn’t have to look at it alone. Our Civil Procedure exam accounted for 70% of our grade, and I had done horribly on the previous two assessments, so I had no idea what to expect. I studied harder and harder the farther we got into the semester, but I always felt just as confused.

Finally the page loaded, and I got to see the good news: not only did I pass, but I did fairly well, and it ended up being my second highest grade of the semester! I had already had a good winter break– I felt rested and ready to take on another semester– and this was just the icing on top.

All of the countless hours holed up in my room studying, where I missed out on playing with my daughter and spending time with my family and running and sleeping and one million other things, all paid off. And tomorrow, I get to start the cycle all over again!