This post is in honor of my mom’s birthday, because I don’t have much to give other than what I can make or write with my own two hands. Happy birthday, Mom!
I remember my first night at college like it was yesterday. My family all flew out to Hawaii with me to help me move into my dorm. The second my room was set up, I insisted on spending the night there, despite the fact that my family was still staying at the Marriott down the street. Looking back, I wish I had chosen to spend one more night with my family, but I was focused on one thing:
If I was staying by myself, I could stay up on my phone as late as I wanted! In high school, I had to turn my phone in to my parents every night. But not anymore! Now, with me in my dorm, and my parents miles away, I was in charge. I couldn’t wait!
I fell asleep by 10:30pm.
As it turns out, staying up late on my phone wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be. In fact, as those first few days of college went by, I realized that this whole “freedom” thing wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, at all.
I ruined my favorite shirt within a week (I had to call my mom, who told me that apparently you’re supposed to sort your clothes by colors).
I didn’t know my own social security number (I had to call and ask my mom).
I didn’t know how to get a copy of my medical records from my physician (I had to call and ask my mom, who told me to call and ask my doctor).
A few weeks into school, and I was calling my poor mother probably three times a day!
When I was a kid, I thought 18 was the magical age where you became an adult, and your parents were done raising you. They had taught me how to tie my shoes, pack my lunch, brush my hair, and be nice to my siblings– what else was there? Apparently, a lot! As the years went by, and especially once I became a mom myself, I realized that I hadn’t even scratched the surface off all of the amazing things I could learn from my mom.
But don’t just take my word for it; in addition to all of the things my mom has taught me, I also asked some of her family and friends what they’re learned, too (hint: a lot).
From Her Middle Child, Jeremy
My brother is currently serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Rosario, Argentina. It’s crazy to think that I haven’t hugged him in almost a year! That being said, he is an amazing missionary who is a hard worker and loves everyone he comes in contact with, which something he attributes to learning from my mom.
“Something I’ve learned from Mom is to always be the person [that] other people can count on,” he wrote to me in an email, “To be the one that everyone can count on [to] help them, love them, and serve them. This is actually something Mom said to me in an email the day that she dropped me off at the airport when I left on my mission.”
From Her Youngest Child, Amanda
My sister is also currently serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but she’s in Antofagasta, Chile. Close to where my brother is, but not quite! I emailed her to ask her what she’s learned from our mom, and this is what she said:
“Happy Birthday Mom!! I would say the most important lesson I’ve learned from my mom is the importance of loving everyone in small ways. I grew up watching my mom serve others, drop off meals, watch a few extra kids, and love with a smile throughout my life, and this has been the biggest blessing in my life. Especially now as a missionary, I know how to show love to everyone because I always watched my mom love everyone. She was the best example for me and I couldn’t ask for anyone better. I love you mom and I hope you have the best day!”
From Her Granddaughter, Eloisa
Megan: Eloisa, what’s something you learned from Mimi? What did Mimi teach you?
Eloisa: Lots of things, did you know she knows some Spanish? But a lot more en ingles.
Megan: What’s something you love about Mimi?
Eloisa: Um… I love her juice boxes and I love her couch.
Megan: Okay then. What’s your favorite thing to do with Mimi?
Eloisa: Um… ooh, eat popsicles!
Well, there you have it folks!
From Her Husband, Todd
“First off, a super duper happy birthday to my wife, my best friend, and my biggest fan! I love you to pieces and am so grateful we are sealed forever!
While there are many, many things I have learned from you over the years, one of my favorites is how to show true compassion and empathy for others. I have seen you countless times see someone who is suffering in some way, and then you truly put yourself in their shoes and jump to their aid. That may be simply offering to drop a meal off, it may be going on a walk with them when they need a listening ear, it may be taking their kids so they have some quiet, or it may be racing (literally) to go to their house and then to the airport to drop off their marathon stuff! You don’t wait for [an answer to], “Let me know how can I help”; you simply do. And I absolutely love that about you and admire you so much. We are all lucky to have you in our lives. Happy birthday! ❤️”
From Her Twin Sister, Jamilee
“I was asked to write about something I’ve learned from Janell and my immediate thought was, ‘There are so many!’ She is my sister, my friend, my confidant, and my cheerleader. If I had to narrow it down to one thing, I would say that she has taught me to always do my best and that effort matters. She strives to be her best at everything she does – taking care of her family, finishing her degree, running, and even throwing a party. And she knows that even small efforts matter. When I am discouraged by my meager efforts to accomplish something, she encourages me and acknowledges the efforts I have made. When she sets a goal, she works towards it – even on the days she doesn’t feel like it. I have been blessed by her influence in my life and I hope I get to continue learning from her for many, many years to come.”
And a quick note from Megan: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, TOO, JAMILEE!!!
From Her Sister-in-Law, Amy
“Happy Birthday, Janell! Todd may have questionable tastes regarding Parmesan-cheese popcorn and garish holiday suits, but I am SO grateful he had the best taste in who would be my sister-in-law. One of your character traits that I have loved about you from first meeting you is your authenticity. You are caring, kind, and generous, but it’s always genuine. You say what you mean and mean what you say. I love and respect you for that, and it’s something I’ve tried to emulate. I love you and am truly so grateful to have you as a sister and friend!”
From Her Friend, Alexis
- “Always be on time
- Doughnuts are always the answer to a bad day
- Christmas shopping starts in July
- Sometimes we have to do things scared (i.e. flying)
- Sugar cookies taste better when someone else makes them
- Spend time in the temple for ultimate peace in your week
- Running is good therapy (I wouldn’t know, she just keeps telling me this)
- The early bird can’t stay up late (lol)
So grateful for your friendship, Janell! I learn so much from you each day. You are a GIFT to me! Happy birthday! xoxo, Alexis”
From Her Friend, Keri
“Janell is the kind of friend I want to be. She has taught me to be there when called upon, and even when you aren’t. There was a time I was struggling with a challenge. I had shared my concerns with her and a few other people, but she knew I didn’t want the world to know what my family and I were dealing with. When I showed up to church she had rallied the few people in my inner circle to wear pink, as a sign that they were thinking of me and praying for me. That seems small, but it brought tears to my eyes, and I was so grateful for that silent sign of community and love. Many other times she has shown up to my home with cookies or a meal when my children or I have needed comfort or healing. Bonus, she’s an amazing cook!
Janell knows people and is good at making them feel special. I am not a person who needs or really thinks much about gifts. She knows that about me and in a way, that probably makes me a difficult friend. For my 50th birthday, she organized a group of my favorite people and together they pulled off a service project for our community. Another birthday, while I was out of the country, she had my friends record a birthday message for me. These are some of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received. It is easy to buy a gift and check the box, but she really knows how to make you feel seen and loved.
I hope to one day be the kind of friend that Janell has been for me. She must have been given the gift of discernment, to know what people are in need of, but she has worked at developing that gift and used it for spreading joy to those around her.
Happy Birthday Janell! You are a true friend and I feel privileged to have spent so much time around you, learning from your example!
Love you friend!
Keri Marsh”
From Her Oldest Child, Me
I have to admit, I have a slight advantage when it comes what I write here, because I’ve already read what everyone else has to say! Like everyone else, some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from my mom revolve around serving and loving others. It’s because of my mom that I always be sure to send handwritten thank you notes, or love to bake homemade cookies and breads to give to those I love, or make a casserole when someone else is in need of a meal.
But it’s also because of my mom that I’ve learned to love myself, too.
When I was in third grade, my family moved from North Carolina to New Jersey. I had moved before, but this adjustment was particularly challenging for me, and I struggled to make friends. I remember my mom driving me home from school one day, listening as I told her about some of the mean things the girls in my class had said that day; they teased me for not being good at volleyball in gym class, they thought my scarf looked dumb, and they didn’t want to play with me at recess. My mom told me, “Well, next time they say something not nice to you, just say ‘I’m sorry you feel that way.'”
I was appalled– I wasn’t going to say that! I was embarrassed that I was the subject of teasing, but my mom was trying to get me to see that their feelings had nothing to do with my value, and shouldn’t ever have anything to do with how I feel about myself.
Several years later in high school, my mom was once again driving me home, and I was once again complaining that I felt like some girls at school didn’t like me. I was worried that maybe they thought I was annoying, or that I tried too hard, and I was also weirdly insecure about my arm hair at the time.
“Megan,” my mom said, “nobody cares.”
Ouch. What? But she went on, explaining that nobody cares as much about my appearance as I do, and that no one was spending time thinking those things about me, became they were too busy also thinking about themselves. She once again reminded me that I shouldn’t waste my time and let my mood be affected just by what other people thought of me.
At the time of both of those instances, I thought my mom’s advice was inapplicable at best, absurd at worst. But now, it’s advice I hold near and dear to my heart.
My mom is selfless, and thoughtful, and considerate, and amazing at taking care of and serving others. But she is also confident in herself and her values, and doesn’t change who she is or what she believes because of what anyone around her might say. She has taught me to always stay in touch with who I am at my core; to stay true to that, and to be confident in that.
My mom has taught me more things than I can count, but that might be the most valuable. I wouldn’t be where I am today — at law school, where I constantly feel like I must have gotten in by some mistake — without my mom in my corner, not just because she believes in me, but because she’s the one who taught me to believe in myself.
I love you, Mom. I hope you have a great birthday!
Step by Step Parenting 