I was on the phone with a friend a few nights back, just talking about some hard things we have both been dealing with lately. It had been a long day, and I think I let it all get to me, because I recall saying something like this:
“Why keep trying? Life keeps knocking me down, and if I get back up, it’ll just break me down again.”
Now, I’m sure that I’m not the only person to have felt this way- we probably all have at some point. Whether it’s losing a friend or family member, failing a test, struggling with a mental illness, or struggling to love yourself, life always seems to have a way to knock you down. I know it hurts, but I’ve also discovered a few things that might soften the blow. So here’s some help, for when you’ve fallen and you can’t get up.
Keep the end in mind.
And no, I don’t mean the end of life, just the end of whatever you’re going through. Whatever it is, remember it won’t last forever, and that there are better things coming. Maybe it’s school- well guess what? High school doesn’t last forever. College doesn’t last forever. If there are people giving you grief now, there’s a slim chance they will even be in your life in five years. If you’re discouraged because of a certain class, or your grades, or a friend, definitely still try your best, but also try to remember that the C you got on your math test will have little effect on your life. That particular example aside, no matter what you’re going through, there are always better days. So keep your head up and your eyes on the future.
Remember who you are.
That’s so cliche of me to say, I know, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true. Whatever trial you’re dealing with does not define you. You are not your mental illness. You are not your addiction. You are not your bad days, your failures, your heartbreaks, or your setbacks. And okay, so maybe you feel like your mind is broken, maybe you feel like you mess up too much, maybe you feel like you’re not enough, but don’t let a few small things eclipse everything that’s good about you and your life. Because maybe, you have a gift at making people laugh. Or maybe you have a cool talent, like playing an instrument, or swimming, or painting, etc. I’m even willing to bet that if you say there’s nothing special about you, there is. So whatever life knocked you down with this time, remember who you really are before you let one thing control who you are.
Reach out!
This one might be the hardest, but it also might be the most helpful. I don’t care what you reach out to, but reach out to something. One thing that worked for me was finding other people who are struggling, and trying to help them. You might not even realize it, but often times you learn a lot through your trials, and that knowledge could really help someone else in their trial, even if it seems small to you.
Other than reaching out to other people to help them, reach out for other people to help you. This one tends to be particularly hard for me, because I’m the type of person that likes to think they can handle everything by themselves. But I speak from experience when I say this: we can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we’ll handle it. And one of the best ways to do that is through reaching out, even if it’s just letting someone stand by your side to offer assurance.
Conclusion
So there you have it, that is my help I have to offer. I can’t promise that things will magically get better or that your problems will now quickly float away. Because let’s be real, they probably won’t. And I know I’m only seventeen, so I haven’t been around that long, but from this short time, I have learned enough to be able to promise you this: things always get better, and when life knocks you down, you can always get back up.
Step by Step Parenting 