As much as I love the life I live, sometimes things can get really hard. It happens to everyone, and not to be a pessimist or anything, but it will probably always happen.
People say mean things. Situations or relationships don’t always work out. Friends lie or stab you in the back. Families don’t always get along. Going to school or church or social events leave you feeling excluded, unwanted, and alone. All these things, and many more, are all things that can really get you down, and make life seem darker and harder than it really is. Usually, you can’t change or stop these stumbling blocks. But do you know what you can change?
You. But before I explain, let me tell a little story.
This summer has been both amazing as well as mentally and emotionally trying. Some highlights include making lots of new friends, having great relationships, traveling lots, and having the opportunity to switch schools, allowing me to get more college credits and make the college transition a little smoother. However, as Sir Isaac Newton once said, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. So while all of those great things happened, so did the opposite. I lost a few friends, got my heart broken, regretted some decisions I had made, and struggled (and am still struggling) to make some more life-changing decisions. Life brings you up and life brings you down.
Today, as I got home from visiting some friends at West Forsyth, I was thinking about all of those things I just mentioned and more. I was feeling angry towards no one and everyone in particular, and frustrated with all of the negative experiences this summer had brought about. I wished things had gone differently, but most of all, I wanted to changes things, I wanted to fix things. But then, I had a realization hit me like a ton of bricks: I didn’t have to change to situation, all I had to change was my attitude. Because happiness? That’s an inside job. If life isn’t making you happy, make yourself happy. Easier said than done of course, but I still think it’s easier done than you think.
As previously mentioned, I was letting my thoughts dwell on all the situations and friends that had hurt me, and hey, sometimes it’s ok to do that. You can’t just pretend all the bad things in your life haven’t happened. But when you change your attitude, YOU decide how those experiences will affect you. Some examples…
- Instead of dwelling on how a friend/more-than-friend has hurt you, use those experiences to motivate you to be a better friend yourself, to seek better friends for yourself, and to be a friend to yourself. Take this opportunity to discover how great it feels to just forgive someone and move on.
- Instead of wallowing in your own tears and pain, reach out to others who are going through what you’ve gone through, or are struggling in anyone. Now, you can be empathetic, not just sympathetic. As you help lift others, you will be happier not only because you’re choosing not to focus on your pain, but because your also helping to alleviate someone else’s pain.
- Instead of feeling excluded or lonely (and this one is the hardest for me), just put yourself out there, make new friends, talk to new people. Don’t shut yourself away because a few others have shut you out, but keep reaching out.
Those are just some examples and some ideas. It is definitely not a complete or perfect list. Because at the end of the day, the world can’t tell you how to be happy, social media can’t tell you to be happy, and I can’t tell you how to be happy. That’s up to you. But I can promise this: no matter how lost you think you are, no matter how long you think the journey ahead is, and no matter how dark your life seems, choosing to be happy will be a guiding light along the way, and can dispel all of your pain or fear. Nothing will come from faking your happiness, but everything can come from making your happiness.
Best of luck,
Megan
Step by Step Parenting 